For some people, it can feel uncomfortable or even unnatural to do things by themselves. There are those who won’t go to the movies on their own or won’t go to sit in a restaurant and eat alone. This is because they’ve been taught that those are social activities and doing them alone makes them a loner or it makes them somebody who’s not worth having fun with.
The thing is, once you get comfortable doing things by yourself, you kind of unlock a whole new level of confidence you may not know you even had inside you. Spending time by yourself gives you a real chance to get to know yourself better and improve and increase your empathy. Spending time alone doesn’t mean that you’re antisocial. It doesn’t mean that you’re introverted. It doesn’t even mean that you don’t like people. Finding comfort in your own company can help you to explore yourself on a different level, and it can make you feel like a brand new person, whether you’re spending time alone by going to the movies or you’re sitting back in a park with a book of Sudoku just to be able to breathe and relax in nature. There are so many things that you could be doing when you are alone that will make you feel peaceful. So with that in mind, we’ve put together a list of why being alone is important.
- Improving empathy. When you spend time alone, you don’t have to think about who you have to impress or making sure that you’re putting on a face or a show. If you’re not in the mood to socialize with other people, you’re going to act more according to how you feel and to your values when you don’t have the pressure of an audience. Sometimes it’s nice to hang out with friends and gain everybody else’s perspective, but sometimes you just need the quiet. You can always be helpful for others to give advice or weigh in when you need support, but sometimes that can feel quite overwhelming. When you surround yourself with a lot of people, you can find it hard to tune out the noise, and sometimes you just want that peace and quiet to be able to sit and be with your own thoughts. If you’ve ever found that when you take a break from social media you feel less on edge, then maybe it is time that you spend more time by yourself.
- You have the opportunity to be more creative. Taking time alone gives you the opportunity to allow your imagination to run wild. You’re not focusing on other people, and you’re not focusing on their needs, which gives you more time to think about the things that inspire you for a change. Because there’s no social pressure, you won’t have to worry about things being in the way of your creativity or other people’s perspectives dampening how you feel about things. When you allow yourself to let your mind wander, you’ll open up new ideas and new ways of being more creative. It’s exciting to be able to discover this new side of yourself.
- Time alone allows you to build resilience. Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to do things by yourself. Obviously, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable to complete your sudoku over a cup of coffee in a cafe because you’re keeping your mind busy. But if you’re not on your phone, doom scrolling on social media, or if you’re traveling by yourself, you can feel overwhelmed and quite concerned that you’re going to get something wrong because you’re not following somebody else. When you do things on your own, you get to follow your own self rather than following other people, which can empower you and make you feel more confident. It’ll make you more resilient to learn how to be OK by yourself than having to be in a crowd all of the time. You’ll find that your happiness levels seem to go skyrocketing as a result.
- You have a chance to get to know yourself. How well do you know yourself right now without other people around you all the time? Spending time by yourself gives you a chance to reflect on what’s meaningful to you and what your values are. It allows you to make choices without being influenced by others, and they can help you to get into the habit of really trusting who you are as a person. Your own judgment can be called into question if you can’t spend time by yourself. You don’t have to be nervous spending time alone, you just have to go with it and see what happens.
- You’re in control. What is it you want to do with your time? Your friends are not available. Your partner doesn’t want to go with you to a bar or a restaurant. So then what? Do you just sit at home and hope somebody will call up? Instead, you need to stop prioritizing everybody else’s wants and needs and start prioritizing your own. It can feel very hard to do something different for yourself, and spending time by yourself can give you a break. When you do that instead of putting other people first, you can give yourself a break and practice some self-care. You don’t have to worry about what anybody else wants, and you get a chance to do exactly what works for you, which puts you in control.
It’s not always easy to spend time alone, especially in a digital age where we’re all glued to our phones all the time. Put your phone on Do not disturb. Find an activity that you can do that doesn’t involve you sitting staring at Netflix, and do something that makes you happy. When you don’t have your phone or any other technologies or distraction, you’ll see what else you notice. It’s like looking into a sunset for the first time. It’s beautiful, but not permanent, so you have to take the time to look at it while you can.
